Wednesday, March 21, 2007


I've been doing an inordinate amount of number crunching at work the past few weeks. So I've decided to break out the spreadsheet at home and reapply my mad skills to the task of assessing Pappy in pure mathematic terms.

So we've had Pappy for 390 days. He has always eaten about 2 cups of food a day, weighing in at about 6.8 ounces for a total of 166 pounds-- plus another 50 pounds of treats. His food adds up to about 774 calories a day, and in the 556 to 834 miles we have walked together I am sure we have burned about a third of that. When we first got him he weighed about 32 pounds, but he has put on about seven pounds. In total, I have probably picked up about 98 pounds of poo, or a little more than two and a half times Pappy's body weight.

So, when all my tabulating is done, I figure on about 216 pounds of "input", but can only account for about 177 pounds of "output". There's 39 pounds missing. I'm a little worried I'm going to check behind the garden shed or sofa one of these days and discover a secret stockpile of poo.


Gus said...

Hey: You don't give Pappy any credit for the calories used gazing adoringly into your eyes. That's hard work!


Pappy's Fella said...

Since being adorable is rewarded behavior, he probably gains more calories than he loses. I notice that the missing amount, 39 pounds, is his exact weight. I'm now wondering if there is some Pappy doppelganger or golem lurking about.

Ferndoggle said...

Maybe he ate it! Eewwwwww!!


Pappy's Fella said...

If he ate the missing 39 pounds, then he should weigh on the order of 78 pounds. No, I think there is still a mystery to be solved.

Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Hmmmmm, y'know, I say this calls for more cookies for Pappy. I have heard that cookies have a higher poop ratio than regular food. That's it!

Bussie Kissies

Dachsies Rule said...

Hmmm ... how much does Pappy pee? Food has moisture in it too ...

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Flirt the Squirt said...

Pappy does have a twin...his name is Scudder and he lives on Long Island, NY

Pappy's Fella said...

I think that Pappy could buy into your thinking, as logical as it is.

There is certainly moisture content in his food and water, and he dispenses a great deal of moisture as pee and face licking. I'm going to guess his moisture inputs and outputs are well balanced, but I'm still worried about the solids.

Hmmm. Pappy's cousin-in-law was a beagle named Scudder. Coincidence?

Finnegan said...

Perhaps he has learned to use and flush the toilet while you are gone and he makes you go for walks and pick up his poo for, you know, sh*ts and giggles (pun completely intended).